Try reading the title in one go. I mean without spaces. No, that will not do! You need more speed. Is it coming? It is sounding like ‘alphabet’, isn’t it? No? Never mind!
What we call as alphabet is termed as character in computers. Now character is something, I am more interested in. It suggests, that alphabets are not the basic or smallest building blocks of language, they do have a story instead. They possess a characteristic. Each and every one of them! For example A is like that shy and talented kid from the neighbourhood, whose presence is realized only with his absence! Alone, he doesn’t even worth a penny, but when properly directed, can even run a nation! Now you are relating it to Manmohan Singh on your own! Please stop!
Now what does B stands for? B looks like breasts when it sleeps, I don’t know why it stands at all!
C is the con among alphabets! You can never trust it! Sometimes it’s nice, at times it is cute! There are few others who seconds the path of C, for example G, but C still is in the lead in its’ tricks and has acquired the third spot in the list of characters. G on the other hand is my personal favourite for once when it goes in lowercase; you’ll find some nice curves and figure. g- see! It’s the most beautiful of all!
D and E are Hit-men, I suppose. Whenever you want to kill something and make it past, you call ED. I mean, generally!
F? Don’t talk about it. There was a time when F was seen in companies of good words! But it’s fine, people do get fucked up at times.
Now, if I really feel pity about a character, it’s H. Shome shay, H has went sho nonshense over time, that no matter how much H you use in a word, it mean the bloody same! That is a fatal shame!
And yes, don’t go on the slimness and thinness of I and J. No matter how much bag of bones they appear, they are the only ones, who have got balls!
K has some real jacks! SRK, Karan, and Ekta are few of them. I don’t know if it’s the jack or something, but K has delivered some absolute results over the period of time. It has almost dominated Kiran and has snatched Calcutta form C, entirely! It also has shown a great impact over Franz Kafka and high-class Indian urban mothers, who name their kids as K or KK, however, in this regard W tops the chart! I bet you’ll find around fifty thousand kids in India, named W.
L,M and N are like those Indian urban kids, who are being named without caring about its’ consequences in rural India. However hard they may try, rural people call them ‘Yul’, ‘Yum’ and ‘Yun’.
And please don’t care about what does O stands for! Whether it stands or sleeps or sit or whatever, it’s mysterious.
P,Q, R and S owe a lot to the quadrilaterals. If it weren’t for their geometry, P, Q, R and S would have been mere bumbling fools! The story goes further painful for R. If R should stand for something, it should be Rahul Dravid! You see, always there, but seldom acknowledged! However, with H losing reputation rapidly over time, R surely would have cashed in on some relief. Not so different is the case with X,Y and Z! They exist for algebra exists!
I feel T stands for showing its sheer excellence over balancing act. Hats off!
Among all the alphabets, I believe, A, B, C and D have been provided with higher statuses. They are the representatives of all other characters. When an uncle asks a kid whether he or she knows ABCD, he actually means to address all those 26 characters. The saga is so hurtful for XY and Z, that when a kid successfully reaches the 23rd character, listener takes the last three for granted and finishes it off himself! You see, what degree of respect they have for algebra? Anyways, it’s not only our country’s democracy which is a flawed system, but even within this small system of characters, we have got four representatives, among which one is a con, one is a hit-man, you have already related one to Manmohan Singh, and following it further I’ll relate B to Rahul Gandhi, whom no one wants to stand!
And among all this, it’s really bad of you of not caring about UV, the guy is suffering from cancer after all!
P.S: If feeling erotic about g's curves, please switch to 'Times New Roman'.
g :)
ReplyDeleteSo you did went erotic about it Vicky! Ah! Your economical way of expression! :-)
ReplyDeleteyou have managed to completely revitalize the english alphabet for me, rishabh.
ReplyDeleteand as soon as i could stop laughing, i'll even thank you for it. :-D
very well written, mate.
these humble letters that make us the self-proclaimed writers we are deserve an occasional story to themselves.
keep writing,
for the better and the verse.
Regarding 'H', I would rather say that it is very picky! It doesn't mingle with just anyone. For example, it broadly changes the meaning of word from 'ate' to 'hate' or 'and' to 'hand' but doesn't affect the honesty or hour. In fact, I guess 'H' is a sincere lover of 'O' as it always let it shine and support it silently.
ReplyDelete@Sarthak Bhaiya: If talking about how much we owe to these humble letters, my write up stands nowhere to set an algorithm for their story! Anyways, I am really glad that you liked it! My attempts at humor didn't go disappointing! :-)
ReplyDelete@Shipra Mam: That is a very fresh prospective you threaded in the characteristic of H. I tried to use hyperbole to create humor in the article. The sarcasm over H was actually a sarcasm over those who expresses the magnitude of their feeling with number of 'H's. :-D
ReplyDeleteAnd that is indeed a very nice humor. Your write up will give a lot of enlightenment to the 'H' killers, especially the sHonas or sHweetus or whatever :D
ReplyDeleteAnyways, my motive wasn't to contradict or criticize your write up. Please don't take it otherwise. I was just expressing my personal views and I hope that you will take it in a positive way.
And since you talked about the nicest curves, I will give my vote to S. Why? Because the letter S reminds me of a woman's anatomy. :D
Keep up the good work :)
@Shipra Mam: Ha Ha! That is a closer example indeed! And I would lovingly like to hear the criticism too, if anybody wants to make. That's not an offence but a drive! :-)
ReplyDeleteGenuine feedback is all I seek for and I am really glad you liked it. :-)