June 25, 2018


When one of my dearest friend texted that he feels that life after college is being deteriorated with every passing day, I ran a poll on Twitter that resulted in 70% of the voters admitting that their life after college is actually being degenerating. Post-graduate depression is not a newly introduced phenomena but yesterday when an apparently happy-go-lucky kind of guy tweeted publicly that he is going to commit suicide, it occurred to me that millennials are required to be reminded that they need to update their system’s software.

Do you remember your parents and relatives convincing you how your next academic year after 10th grade will become easy and negotiating to make you more attentive towards your board exams? And do you remember your academic graph falling like the Sensex of 2007 in your 11th grade? Of course you don’t want to remember that but the fact is, a major syllabus transition required you to redesign your learning strategies which you couldn’t realise on time and hence the index fall of 2007.

Life after college is no different. The idea that your interests and hobbies are the key ingredients of the personality you posses needs to be rethought. If a student’s college experiences are mostly positive, college provides a cocoon of sorts: a community of friends, teachers and mentors who are mostly readily available to offer support or advice. Graduating symbolizes a leap into ‘adult’ life, leaving back all the ecstatic existence you created back in college, which is a huge transition and if not tackled on time generally leads to an abnormally negative perspective, decreased motivation to get out of bed, a general sense of hopelessness and, occasionally, substance abuse.

Getting out of college actually is the most vulnerable time when a person experiences things like goal-lessness, job with no mental satisfaction, relationship failure, sudden burdening of responsibilities, symptoms of sinking health, and realization of not being the ‘special one’. So, when someone tries negotiating or convincing you by claiming that it’s a wonder ride after your pedagogical life, just know that it’s a trick. But until our colleges and universities that value the mental health of their students, come out with a plan of offering some sort of transition course making them aware of the struggles that may await when the utopian world vanishes the day after graduation, it is for you to understand that you have entered an altogether different phase of life that is susceptible to a decline in magnitude greater than the index fall of 2007.

However trivial it may sound, but it is not unchallenging to admit that one is hit by depression or is confronting a degrading personality because it won’t just sync with the charismatic and dynamic persona one has in his paradisal days of graduation. So, the guy admitting that he is depressed and couldn’t take these changes anymore and wanted to commit suicide, is actually at a head start than those who have hallucinated themselves postponing the inevitable introspection they are going to get hit by.

You know that things aren’t going the way you fancied them to be. All you need to do is, not quit.

June 09, 2018

Why to not have a Facebook Account

The not so technical and the not so ‘giving a damn’ about data leaks people can relax as this article is not about Facebook-Cambridge Analytica data scandal of collecting personally identifiable information but is more towards how your ‘I hate politics’ opinion in the ‘Political views’ column of Facebook’s purportedly know-your-client section, is gradually changing into something that can be metaphorically described as ill-knead, naively rolled and half-baked Chapati, getting puffed towards taking shape of a country which, unfortunately, is India.

Considering the psychology of humans of hating or being indifferent towards things they don’t know about, ‘I hate politics’ opinion can be deducible to safely assume that ‘I don’t know much about our country’s political atmosphere’. It’s probably this data of number of people who hate politics (which I reckon to be in lacs), is something that must have encouraged political parties to set up their own information technology cell to shoulder the responsibility of kneading your raw brain and shaping it into a political party’s symbol. Please don’t ask how political parties know that you hate politics because for that I’ll have to go into the scandal that I promised not to.

You’ll, I suppose, will appreciate the fact that the efficiency, these IT cells work with, is directly proportional to your hatred towards politics, your lack of political knowledge, your inability to differentiate between an authentic and a fake news, and in some cases your dependency on bizarre political memes as your life support system. Needless to say that the number of people hating politics is so large that it provided a dream platform for the employees of these IT cells to cash-in brownie points for their annual appraisal. Soon, political discussions began to trend, unauthentic news and fake information took over, and people with ‘I hate politics’ opinion felt left out and deemed tagging themselves with a political party as an absolute exigency.

Not that I don’t advocate having a political opinion but this, unfortunately, instead of making people logically aware of their country’s management, created a lot of adamant, non-compromisingly opined, and close minded nincompoops. It was to my surprise when I met a guy who didn’t know the Indian State where Godhra is geographically located (Yes! Such people exist), was into a textual altercation with a person supporting a different political party than him. To add to this trauma, instead of questioning their elected representative, they have voluntarily taken a self-imposed obligation of defending the political symbol their brain has transformed into.

The IT cells have redeemed so much out of your half-witted debates and baseless political discussions of defending your choice of election that if I say that the current era of political power can be summarized as manufacturing controversies to polarize voters, it won’t be completely inaccurate.

The problem with having skyscrapers of political opinions on foundations hit by an acute attack of shallowness, is allowing the unscrupulous political parties to thrive for eras one after the another, distancing our nation yet again from an unimpeachable management and virtuous representatives for a generation or two. Now that our country again is in election mode, and these IT cells again will be into the fully fledged business of shaping your unscholarly political mind to their advantage, deactivating your social account, the timeline of which is suffering from an unopposed encroachment and making way for yourself to scroll down the timeline of independent India will account for a major contribution on your part for a better tomorrow.

PS: I have not yet touched the ‘3-seconds-share’ thing. That’s altogether a different issue.

June 02, 2016

Making FOE, a foe!

I think it gained momentum with Twitter, if not started, which provided a platform for common people to connect with celebrities. Generally, celebrities have oodles of fans who are devotedly self employed at applauding, admiring, congratulating and singing songs of glory for their icons. So adding another song to it wouldn’t have paid a penny hence few decided to try their hands on talking objectionable about them. Using degenerating language for celebrities and demeaning them in the face not only made those few noticeable but also pleased their ego like the cat that’s got the cream. This began to trend.

Soon, controversial remarks and unprincipled stunts began to evolve as a rapid route to publicity and few opportunists like Poonam Pandey, cashed it remarkably. The trend further levelled up and a group of people deduced that our country is now ready to host a contentious show like AIB where celebrities are subjected under humiliation and embarrassment; a concept that is widely popular in western countries.

What they do in the Indian version of the show, AIB, is cross the already drawn socially acceptable lines of cracking jokes to crack jokes. Their argument in support is “Thousands of criminals and rapists are roaming free and you are outraging over a joke cracked by us comedians” but sorry to say that “Thousands of criminals and rapists are roaming free” was supposed to be a worry, not an excuse. That it’s not illegal what you do is grantable but can the law institute such set of rules to which you can comply with while cracking jokes? No, because jokes thrive on your sentiments, experiences, personality and many such idiosyncratic events and profiting on Government’s helplessness to technically frame a set of guidelines for it, makes you a person who flourishes on democracy’s loopholes suggesting, you technically didn’t break it but contravened the intent of the law.

That is where social norms come into effect. Social norms can make rules where the law technically fails. Although most of their rules are arguable and can be discarded without having much of consequences to face but certainly not this because in a subsequent time if a guy smacks a joke on your face about your mother diminishing her to an ill-repute, all in good humour, you can’t do a trifle because he is well within the boundaries of law and if at all you’ll react in a fashion similar to how you are expected of, that will be illegal. So what we can do from here is keep advocating their sense of humour in the name of freedom of expression or think of drawing a line.

Free from any preconceived notion about him and his show and conserving all my even-handedness, last night I watched the Tanmay Bhat’s controversial video of Sachin Tendulkar and Lata Mangeshkar’s roast and found it to be very shoddy and extremely unintelligent. The least a viewer expects of your jokes is to be funny and sadly that wasn’t. Not only it was ill-scripted and disgracefully presented, it was also not comic which safely proposes that the video was just a tawdry stunt for seeking attention.

Few people campaigned for Tanmay Bhat asking why is he being targeted when there are thousands of twitter handles doing the same. Well, to them I would say, thousands of people are raping girls which don’t give me a license to rape one. Moreover, Tanmay Bhat is a public figure whom people take as a pattern making him socially more responsible and careful. Also it’s needless to say that the message is for all.

I am not antagonistic towards all of Tanmay’s work. In fact, I subscribed to few of them. I even didn’t lodge much protest to what they did at Worli on December’14 because the roasted artists had their consent for the show. But assembling mindless jokes on the foundations of vulgarity gives you an undeserved regards and uncalled messages which need to be confronted one of these days if not today.

The whole indignation can be summarised as, someone made a joke about somebody which few people didn’t like and hence are requesting him to stop. As simple as that! If at all it is requisite to use derogatory words, use it to make your point, don’t make a point to use it needlessly. The lesson for Tanmay to learn is that comedy is, cracking a joke without cracking a soul. Moreover with a built like his’, he don’t need to do third-rate tricks, he’ll effortlessly stand out in the crowd (all in good humour).

January 02, 2015

Heroic sacrifice of sacrificing heroism

Dear dad!

              How are you? I am doing fine. Dad, you might get angry at the first sight of this letter but please be patient to read it till the end. I made a consequential mistake but before things could go worse, I fixed it. I fixed it all up.

                I fell in love with a girl. I am sorry dad. I am sorry that I failed you. You always implied to stay at distance from ‘Love’. I know that Love marriages are evil but I couldn’t resist falling in love with her. Believe me dad, I always did my utmost to maintain a stretch with girls especially those of other religions but somehow she managed to break my vows. I think ‘Love’ is a strong feeling dad. It overcame, despite all the resistances I offered.

                I swear that I avoided her for long but I dissolved eventually. She cared for me like mom does. She had this magical ability to explore all the sorrows I tried to hide. She braced me like brother and abided by me like you, dad. She used to make me feel so distinctive and remarkable that I flunked to follow the lessons you gave me.

                But be proud of myself dad. Although I discovered that there isn’t actually a control over this feeling called love, there are ways to avoid love marriages. Before my first mistake could turn into something more evil, I backed off. I left her into tears and backed off from letting things to worsen. She was heartbroken of course but she needs to understand that I sacrificed her for a greater cause.

                I am sorry dad that I made a mess but I fixed everything up. I felt awful when she cried but it’s fine. I’ll be fine and she’ll be fine too in due course. Nobody needs to know anything. But dad, shouldn’t I be feeling heroic after this? Why I am having this villainous stir inside me? May be it is just a matter of time. Rest all is well dad. Hope you’ll forgive me.

Your son

May 18, 2014


She is my friend who is fond of wearing the shortest possible pants exposing the majority of her body which I never understood why! So I asked one day, “Do you always prefer this attire and is your family comfortable with it?” She replied, “You are talking to a strong feminist and you can get the hell out of business regarding what I wear and what I don’t!”

Now, there were two things I felt uneasy about. One, she acted rude and second, she had altogether taken the wrong turn while walking on the path of feminism. Although I get the hell out of that business but I had to respond.

I am not a man who is an anti-feminist. In fact I strongly favour the equality between all the genders regarding rights and opportunities. But I won’t advocate letting a person go being rude without being paid a healthy response. And I don’t patronize ‘short pants’ being a symbol of feminism.

To be equal you need to capitalize the opportunities you get and to capitalize the opportunities, you need to be strong and capable. Now, there is no absolute theory or enough experimental instances proving a direct proportionate relation between being strong and being rude. May be you don’t realize but you can doubtlessly stay calm, composed and gentle while going strong.

Anyways, suppose a situation where you are in a metro train and a man is sitting on the reserved seat for the ladies. You are left with two choices. You can let the man sit proving your equality of strength and decide to remain unseated making your point. Or, you can ask the man to vacate it demanding your rightful seat. The point is you can take any of the decision with or without the short pants. Your actions will measure the level of your feminism not the apparel. I mean, wear the short pants if you want to but don’t claim yourself to be a feminist on the basis of that. It is more like cashing in your personal desires of fashion under the umbrella of feminism.

I do get aware of the rapes victimizing women, through newspapers and television and it occurred to me that may be wearing short pants is a way of expressing anger challenging all such inhumane behaviour. I understand the outrage but still I would suggest not doing so because if somebody someday will accept your challenge one on one, you’ll be less likely to win unless you are well trained in some kind of defensive technique or art. It is actually an undeniable fact that you lack the equivalency in physical strength when compared to that of a man.

Before you could make judgements about myself, claiming my unbiased state to the topic I would proceed further voicing that mere the feeling of exploration of rather hidden part of the body itself is capable of giving arousals to humans. And it should! I mean, it’s preposterous to see a juicy thigh and not to get aroused. But we, the gentlemen, suppress all our stimulations and present ourselves being very casual and easy. We do so, because we have a reputation to protect, obligations to take care of and responsibilities to carry. But we mustn’t forget how full our country is with people who don’t have any of these. In fact, there even are incidents when the devil of few reputed personalities too overcame their power of staying gentle.

I have seen this picture of a girl, below which it was quoted “Even if I walk naked, I have not given you the right to rape.” True. I agree that you haven’t but neither has anyone else. Not even our constitution! But still there is body governing the law and order because the constitution makers felt that there’ll be elements in the society who won’t pay much heed to what rights belong to them and what not.

Do you sleep in your house every night with the doors and windows open? No, because it would make your house vulnerable to the thieves who are outside there. It’s equally unwise to make yourself vulnerable when there are people outside there who don’t think twice before materializing their internal stimulations. I am not asking you to abolish your fashion desires but please do chose the occasion, company and environment wisely before executing such yearns.

If you’ll take a step on the path of constructive feminism, I’ll push you to take one more. But walking naively without understanding the real meaning of it will make you something I wouldn’t recommend you to become.

P.S: I don’t like rude people.

October 31, 2013

Let’s not chat, Parineeti

If you yearn to be good to everyone, you’ll end up failing at to be best to someone. I would rather try being bad to too many if that gives me a handful of finest relations.

You can go and masturbate over the fact that it was a marvellous reunion with your school friends. You may lick your social networking sites’ arses for making this come true. You may wake up every morning and offer mental prizes to the engineers who reduced the suppositions of application like Whatsapp and WeChat to reality. You may also feel proud about being an iconic social being if you want to but just slide down that damn phone in your pocket while you are talking to me.

Have you ever projected a real world analogy of the situation when you are making parallel Whatsapp chat with goddamn six people? If you still feel it’s not rude then I insist you to stop reading and check your phone. Have you ever realized that the person outside your phone talking to you is also a kind of chatting? You do not have to always investigate your phone after every minute in order to not missing out on some “real” conversations. Have you ever even considered the fact that the basic mechanism of a communication is to listen attentively to what the speaker is saying, and to execute a focused speech? Have you figured out yet that talking to six people independently at a time altogether invalidates the point of talking? Do not you feel that the relation, friendship is getting diluted with every pillars of technology you are supporting it with?

If you want to ponder about it, ponder about it or go do whatever the dung you want to do but just slide that goddamn phone inside your pocket while you are talking to me.

October 04, 2013

A gone green gift

That moron thought he would rip apart the coop with his tiny beaks as if it’s a movie going on. He probably mistook himself as a human who have constituted themselves with the right to freedom. He surely must have been a fool who ruptured his nail while trying to escape. He got his lessons though, he should have got bloodied. More than ten drops of blood bid farewell to his veins through the wounds he himself opened up while assuming come what may, it will lead to his independence.

I mean, how much more stupid can one be? The fool knew he was a birthday gift to that little child and the child wants to amuse himself from outside to celebrate his sense of not being alone at being a victim of dependence. Did the child ask for much? The child also gave him potatoes to eat. And I am telling you the child was a wise one. He only picked the potatoes that were uneatable for humans who have constituted themselves with the right to food. He was really an idiot who was trying to escape from being a birthday gift of such a wise child.

He was so stubborn to go out that not a single minute passed when he wasn’t trying to break free. The only few minutes he sat placidly was after those ten red drops spurted out of his nail. And again after regaining his strength, he got back to his business. At times, clutching a rod in the beak and trying to twist it open, at times, pushing the rods with his claw and pulling the gate with his beak to set it open. He must have been really a very big dunderhead who thought he would actually succeed and that too at that budding age of 25 days.

The parrot died the next morning. And maybe that should have happened to a fool like that. He didn’t realize he might get tetanus or something. Anyways, he was no match to the wise child he was a gift of. You never know, how fool these birds can be. But thank God, the child was done with his amusements, he don’t want another one to disappoint himself in such stupid manner.