November 14, 2011

An 'unforgettable' phone call



Leo: (Pause) Hello! Hello! (Pause) Hello!

Sanju: Hello! Who is this?

Leo: My name is Leonard Shelby. Are you Sanjay Singhania?

Sanju: Yes. How do you know me?

Leo: Are you bald with distorted eight pack abs? And do you have weird tattoos all over your body? Is that you?

Sanju: Yes! Yes, I presume. But I am not bald! I have a peculiar strip in my hairs running till behind my head. And that tattoo…(snobbish laugh). . .

Leo: Yes, what about the tattoo?

Sanju: That’s a tricky one! When looked in mirror, it says ‘KALPANA WAS KILLED’…(snobbish laugh). . .

Leo: Whatever!

Sanju: But how do you know all this?

Leo: I have a picture of you below which is written in bold ‘POTENTIAL FRIEND’.

Sanju: What? Do you have the picture? Please, please try looking it in the mirror. You’ll surely find the tattoos tricky. ‘KALPANA WAS KILLED’. Really tricky!

Leo: Who is Kalpana?

Sanju: Don’t know. I forgot.

Leo: Oh!

Sanju: So?

Leo: I am wondering about how can you be a potential friend. Do we have anything in common?

Sanju: Maybe.

Leo: Let me check it out. What are your hobbies?

Sanju: I don’t remember.

Leo: Which is your favorite sport?

Sanju: I forgot.

Leo: Favorite color?

Sanju: Aaaa…mmm..just a second..aa..I ..I..I don’t know.

Leo: Favorite cuisines?

Sanju: I couldn’t recall?

Leo: Oh! Sad!

Sanju: Forget about me. You tell me about some of your peculiar habits.

Leo: I don’t really have much peculiar habits. One of which..aaa..you can say…aaa…a habit that I forget things too quickly!

Sanju: Oh! I am afraid, it doesn’t really seem we have any common traits. I think that the picture has a wrong caption. Who gave it to you?

Leo: I don’t remember.

Sanju: Then I really think, there is no way we could figure out anything common between us.

Leo: Don’t say that! I am really alone. I need a friend.

Sanju: Then go and look out in your neighborhood!

Leo: Oh! They are bunch of faggots! It pisses me off to see their fake appearances.

Sanju: Fake personalities turn me off too! But what happened?

Leo: One of their ugliest habits is to shed crocodile-tears over lost mementos. As if they have lost all access to the connected people.

Sanju: Oh yes! That over-acting! Oh what to say? It really pisses me off!

Leo: Hey! I guess, we actually have something in common! We get pissed off over similar issue!

Sanju: Oh yes, sheer observation!

Leo: Friends?

Sanju: Best friends!

Leo: Really?

Sanju: Of course!

Leo: Oh my dear friend Sanjay!

Sanju: I wish I could hug you and begin our friendship!

Leo: It has already begun!

Sanju: What has already begun?

Leo: Hello!?

Sanju: What has already begun?

Leo: What!?

Sanju: You were saying right now! What has already begun?

Leo: Who are you?

Sanju: Is it a kind of plot against me? Is it my countdown timer, which has begun? What has already begun? Who are you?

(Beep! Beep! Beep!)

Sanju: Hello! Hello! Hello! Pick up the phone! What has already begun?

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